I ran your car into a ditch...

"I pawned your jewelry on the net...
Called up your boss told him you quit"

So over at Buckeye TV, we have this software developer. We'll call him, for lack of a more suitable name David. Wow do I hate that spineless bastard.

So first I hear about him, it's because he's the Sys Admin for BTV and is the one that has to make me a computer account so I can log on. Well finally he does it... 8 WEEKS LATER. Way to be punctual.

Eventually I take over that job because he's a slacker and sucks at life. So this means I have to work with him on a regular basis *sigh*, I'd rather have a nailgun to the eye.

So one day, he's bored so he decides to add a "feature" to his software automation system that runs our tv station. I have to interact with this software about 6-10 times on a weekly basis. Well this "feature" is that I have to type in my username and password every single time I hit a button. GREAT FEATURE.

So to rebuttal his security, I make my own program (I shall link it at a later date). Let's just say its awesome and everyone will want to try it out. So because he pissed me off, I added security so that it asks you for your name, and if you put in 'David' it goes DENIED. But the bitch beat me by just typing his name in all caps. YA THATS COOL, BEAT ME WITH CASE SENSITIVITY.

So a while later I get an iMac to play with so I can learn how to use the beasts a little better and see how it will interact with our network, so in the process of waiting to get a keyboard for it, he goes and picks it up (NOT BY ITS INTEGRATED HANDLE MIND YOU), but man-handles the thing and walks out the door with it saying "I'm taking it for a walk." He then proceeds to put fake throwing it into the river and then sets it on the picnic table outside, stating that it is its new home. BECAUSE THATS AWESOME.

So then to add insult to injury, he invites me to play him in racquetball. I'm decent, not great, not even good, but decent that I can give most people who don't know the intracacies of the game a good match and typically win. Well, he suckers me into playing him, and guess what HES GOOD. NOT JUST GOOD... HELL I BET HE TOOK EDU PAES 169 OR WHATEVER NUMBER THE RACQUETBALL II COURSE IS. He goes on to beat me like 15-0, 15-0; 15-3, 15-1... PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE TWAT

So basically what I'm saying is...

"I want you dead..."