They even made me show ID

"...to get inside the Sams Club"

So, having an oven and such now, I decided it was time for some excellent bulk purchases.

Well here's what I bought:

1. a 6-box set of Puffs with lotion tissues which ended up being around $1.55 per box!
2. An enormous box of Tortilla Chips for $4.48
3. Flour Tortillas for Quesidilla and/or Wraps and/or Fajita and/or Burrito making
4. Delicious Buffalo Chicken Tenders
5. An 11-serving bag of Romaine Lettuce
6. 4 Portabella Mushroom Caps
7. a dual 2-pack (aka 4 pack) of 1lb of shredded Mexican Cheeses
8. 2 pack of Frank's Red Hot

Put together, quite an aclectic group of foodstuffs and other products.

The entertaining part is when I get back to the apartment. The chips are already in their own box, but everything else was smallish so I grabbed a giant empty box that one one time contained 6-6lb bags of frozen hashed browns and put everything else inside of it. Well, I didn't feel like carrying both at once, so I yelled up into the open window... Someone come outside on the porch and catch these tortilla chips. Nick + Paul both heard me, but didn't realize I was talking to them... apparently that's a typical shout heard around the Northwest part of campus?

So being the genius I am, I decide to try to throw the enormous box of chips onto the balcony. I immediately regreted that decision. However I caught them on their descent back to earth and no harm was caused.

So after carrying the stuff up into the apartment, Paul is taking the stuff out of the box and giving it to me. Well the last two things were the lettuce and the flour tortillas. I take the tortillas and consider whether or not they need to be refrigerated. I'm assuming since at the store they weren't, they dont have to be until you open them. Well I decide to look at the back of the package and this is what I see:



SOUND FLIPPIN NEVES!!!

REFRIGERATE AFTER PURCHASE?!? That doesn't even remotely make sense. Ok, they're sitting with a bunch of mass-produced baked goods on a table in the rear corner of Sams Club. The dairy section is in sight but its a good 50 yards away. These are not refrigerated in the least bit. What is so magical about my Kitchen counter that requires these tortillas be refrigerated? Please, if anyone can explain that I have a map of Ohio that you can have as a prize.

So everything is put away and I go to grab a slice of the Reese's Pie that Morgan bought me like 2 weeks ago. I'm waking over to grab a fork when I look at the ground. And what is it I see?



Confused by this I take a closer look...



I repeat... SOUND FREAKIN SIETE!!!

Apparently Paul decided that the best location to store the lettuce would be on the floor next to the dishwasher. While I'm all about convienence, and it doesn't get much more convienent than that... NO!... Just NO!

This makes me think I need to go to Sams Club more often...

"Cuz every fourth quarter, I like to mic Jordan up"