Whistle While You Twerk

"Go head and start..."

Amazon.com... The icon of e-commerce. If you've ever bought anything online, chances are you've bought something from Amazon.com. Personally, if you can name it, I've bought it. Required Reading for high school which ranges from Nathaniel Hawthorne to Douglas Adams to Chinua Achebe; not to mention a bunch of AP test study guides. I've bought presents for my Mom, quite specifically the entire 'The Dark Tower' series in hardback (that's ~7 Stephen King books). Oh, and of course books for myself as well, numerous Poker books.

So I have quite an aclectic buying history from Amazon.com. Every couple months or so, they'll send me an e-mail saying,

HEY ANDY! You previously bought books by [RANDOM AUTHOR] from us! Here are some recommendations for other books you might enjoy!

Obviously, with my history, I get the most outlandish results, with way to many books about Willy Loman as part of the recommendations.

However, nothing can top the e-mail I received tonight...

From: Amazon.com
To: Andy Pokrivnak
Subject: Amazon recommends ACME HIGHEST GRADE METAL WHISTLES, THUNDERER and more

I think everyone knows what vocal chords I uttered...

I'm quite confused wondering what kind of book this is, but then I scroll down the e-mail and I'm presented with this:


Click here for larger view.

Apparently, I bought a lanyard from Amazon at some time? I remember looking for one when my one from HOBY broke, but as far as I remember, I bought a black one at Old Navy, and then my current OSU one when I moved down here last fall...

BUT STILL... IF I did buy a lanyard from Amazon, it would have been over 2 years ago, probably closer to 3. Why now.... NOW... are you recommending that I purchase... a... WHISTLE???

"Now she wonder where it went..."