And I Can't Stop Having These Visions

A look inside the madness of my mind--sports, politics or daily life--with humor and pop culture and music references embedded.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

It's Been a Long Time

"I shouldn't have left you..."

Post-Write edit: I realized this rambles a bit and derails every now and then. Deal with it

Well, I decided to start up the ole blog again after a year hiatus. After having just read all of the entries on the first page, I realized that almost invariably, somewhere around my second sentence I promise to write more. So I'm going to do that again. I hope to revive the blog and post regularly.

With that being said, Ghetto Spice Up Your Life feat. Nas may be retired. It originally started as me wanting to do a little writing and make a simple joke or two (as evidenced by the first four or so posts coming all in one night). Then it evolved into finding ways to incorporate music lyrics, even when completely inappropriate. And then, it eventually reached a point where I was trying hard to practically write entertaining short stories filled with non-sequitor humor. And while I can pull it off for a while, it just can't be sustained.

To digress, the recent WGA strike created some of the best (and worst) TV in years. Conan working without writers created some moments that are without a doubt, the funniest things I've seen on his show. However, I know very well that if forced to keep it up for much longer (I believe he was on the air for about 5-6 weeks during the strike), it would have become old and tiresome. You simply cannot continue to create comedy gold at a regular rate off-the-cuff.

Anyway, It got to a point around the autumn of 06 that I started trying too hard to be funny. I didn't do many entries, and the ones I did do took me over an hour to craft until I was satisfied with it. It wasn't for a lack of material. I had plenty of GOOD stories. However, in my mind, I had a shortage of GREAT stories.

Plus, I'm a narcissistic bastard. I need to feel loved for some ungodly reason. So when I write something that I think is amazing and get no comments, something I can't control gets pissed off. I know it's appreciated because I look at the logs and see all the people reading it. I know I enjoy writing it. Just people aren't commenting. I can't bitch. I read things all the time that I thoroughly enjoy, but don't comment on. I just can't explain it, but I'm needy in that department.

So I came to a crossroads. Do I make real short entries trying to be real entertaining? Do I make long entries combining stories? Do I wait to see if a great story can be created? Well, I simply chose D) None of the Above. When faced with a decision that is ultimately inconsequential, I tend to just not make a decision. So that is why the blog has been stagnant for the past year and two days.

With these thoughts now typed into the series of tubes that is this internet, I am faced again with that decision. Do I choose to simply let this blog evolve once again? I think not. As I plan on posting later on, things have changed immensely in this past year. Let alone in the past 20 months since I started this blog. There's some entries on here that I still find funny, and will go back and reread and still laugh to this day.

I want to be able to write. When (If) I ever graduate, I'll probably be working with computers. Simply because I'm good at it, and it pays well. But anyone who knows me, knows that my passion is to entertain. I want to make people smile and laugh. ... Limp Bizkit said, "Drama makes the world go around." But for me, being able to make someone smile when they're sad, or just sitting around with a group of people and being able to make them laugh is what makes my world go around. I'm like a freaking celestial being. I need to have things gravitating to me. I want the world to be Andycentric.

It doesn't matter how, but I need to do it. In Fifth Grade, I created a newspaper for my classmates to buy from me. In eighth grade, I started filming videos. In tenth grade, I hosted 2-3 online radio shows a week. One of them was mainly for Dutch people, and these people stayed up and waited for it to be 10PM (that I did when I got off school at 4) each Thursday so they could hear my 2-hour show before going to bed. Then Junior/Senior year, I was in speech and plays. All throughout high school I would find funny videos and such (back before YouTube) and love having people over to watch them. Then, I got to college and joined the student TV station. Within 6 weeks of being here, I was co-hosting my own sports show. By my second quarter, I was became a regular guest doing segments on the station's most-watched show. If I walked through campus on any given day, I'd have at least 5 people stop me that I had never met and go, "Hey Farva! You're the man! Keep it up!!" I signed 3 autographs. Somewhere around then, I moved to behind the camera. Directing or doing audio. I still loved it. Seeing my name scroll in the credits as Director/Technical Director - Andy "Farva" Pokrivnak just would make me happy. That's when the blog started and hit its peak not long after. There was some gold over summer and into autumn, but that's when it fell apart.

My time at Buckeye TV ended. Theatre no longer wanted me around, unless it was on their terms. Yet, I kept trying because I wanted... no, I needed that creative outlet. I tried to keep it up while taking 23 hours of classes and working 15 hours a week. I just burnt out. Not going to BTV for that winter 07 intro meeting just... something was just different. I was living off-campus with just two other people. They didn't need to be entertained. I didn't have the TV station. I was feeling unsatisfied with the blog. I didn't know what to do.

I've muddled through the past year+. I went from being on pace to graduate in 3 years, to being a senior not in his major, to not knowing if he'll be able to graduate with his planned degree at all, let alone in 4 years. Now I'm considering double majoring in History and my original planned Information Systems. It'll keep me here an extra 2-3 quarters, but I guess that isn't so bad. Then, I'd have the option to get a Masters in Education if I wanted and be able to teach HS History, and probably run the school's computer network as well. Will it satisfy my entertainment needs? Probably not. But more so than sitting in a cube looking at people's disk quotas all day. And of course, all the while attempting to somehow get my sitcom written and picked up, or becoming a director, or a sports analyst, or some type of anchor, or a poker pro... y'kno, my dream jobs that I would enjoy.

So what does it have to do with this blog?

I'm gonna try to write more often.
Some will be the old school comedy gold.
Some will be rambles and thoughts like this one.
Some will be my opinions on things.
Some will be rants.
Some might be something I can't even fathom right now.

If nothing else, I implore you to continue reading. Even if some of the topics aren't typically your cup of tea. I like to think that I can empathize with anyone and see things from all viewpoints. Plus, my mind is pretty unique, and hopefully the more serious topics might provide an insight into how it works. Plus, I need my ego fed. So throw me a bone.

With that, I've now spent an hour typing this up instead of studying for my Econ test that's now in 8 hours. Yay for being an expert at procrastination.

Seacrest out!

"If at first you don't succeed... You can dust it off and try again."


  • At 2:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Welcome back Farva~ you sure were missed~ I love reading your writings~ Keep up the good work big guy.
    luv' lab

  • At 1:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you know im a sucker for any farva blog ;)
    miss you...come visit soon


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