And I Can't Stop Having These Visions

A look inside the madness of my mind--sports, politics or daily life--with humor and pop culture and music references embedded.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

I'm on My Way Home

Youngstown OH (AP) - Those that know me, know that I have a ridicuously nice and expensive phone that can probably bake a cake if I got the software to do it. One of the nice functions that it (and many other phones) can do is have personal ringtones for each caller. I make custom mp3 ringtones on my computer, and then send them to my phone.

Some examples are:
Rahkeem - Mr. Roboto by Styx
Brandon - B.Y.O.B by System of a Down
Paul - Numb/Encore by Jay-Z & Linkin Park
David - I feel Like a Woman by Shania Twain
April - For the Love of Money by The O'Jays
Rob - Team America Theme Song
Bethany - Shadow by Ashlee Simpson

among many others... (if you know the meanings behind all 7 of those, major props to you).

One day, Rahkeem and I, (possibly others as well) were sitting on the porch when los padres came back from wherever they were. We began discussing my ringtones when mi madre asked what hers was...

Well I played it for her, but between it being somewhat-rappish, and the fact that she was drunk and not paying attention, she probably didn't hear it.

Now this blog is going to turn emo like a bad live journal, so feel free to quit reading.

Well the very first ringtone I made was for when my house (which is basically my mom) called me. I used the song, 'My Way Home' by Kanye West & Common. There were certain lines that I wanted to include in the tone, so I spliced it together and put a little effort into making it sound good. Here's how it goes...

Might not be such a bad idea
if I never went home again.
I'm on my way home.
Home is where the hatred is.
Home is filled with pain.
And it might not be such a bad idea
if i never went home again.

Well, just so there's no misinterpretation, there are the lyrics in english. As much as I've tried, 'Home' has still been Youngstown. And because of this, the song is true. Well, I've given up. Youngstown just happens to be where I go every now and then to see my wonderful extended family and friends. Hell, its where everyone including Miss Fuckin Nicotine Selfish Scrooge Cheating Whore lives. And guess out of everyone who it is I don't want to see.

So right now, I'm going home. I'll be there in a little over 3 hours, after I go to breakfast.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The story of October 20th... err 19th - Part 2

"I don't want to know your name..."

First off, I now realize that I used the wrong date. It was actually October 19th, but that is quite irrelevant.

*continued from the last entry*

So, now that Alex had successfully kept me from studying for my class by watching 'The Island' on HBO on Demand, and we figured out why my dryer wasn't drying well, it was time for him to head back to his apartment. Being that I wanted something from Exxon (which is next door to his apartment), I walked with him.

Now Shakespeare once said, "What's in a name?" And the lovable Eileen Bacha made us write a paper on it during our final week of Honors English 9 (which is another good story as well). And one of my roommate's name is Samuel, but he goes by Morgan. Not to mention the fact that Alex's real name is actually John. However, none of that prepared me for what was about to happen.

Alex goes inside to check his mail, and there is a single letter inside.

Ladies and Gentleman, do not adjust your set. Yes, that in fact is addressed to 'fizbang' A letter from 'The Drop Spot' addressed to a 'fizbang'. Not a Mr. fizbang, or some other wacky combination that just might make sense... but simply 'fizbang'.

Now, it may be a Federal Crime, but this looks mildly important, and no one is going to be able to find a 'fizbang' if we return it. So the only logical thing to do is open it. And what are we presented with but a...

CHECK. Yes, There is a check!... Made out to fizbang!... For FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS.

Somewhere around here I lose it and just leave. Words don't describe the ridiculousness that the past hour had been. First the lint, and now fizbang.

A day later Alex would call and tell me that through some internet detectivery, he hunted down fizbang and found him in California. Apparently the check was for designing a web site or something. If Alex is nice enough, he'll clean up the details in the comments section...

Well I kept it short and sweet because I wanted to finish the two-parter before I leave for Youngstown for the Thanksgiving holiday. I have a good story from earlier today that I'll try posting while I'm in Youngstown, and if you know me, you know there will be a Black Friday update, hopefully from my new laptop which I hope to purchase on Friday.

Anyone that has me on AIM, I'll probably be mobile all weekend since Lappy is broke. Feel free to AIM me since my phone is a computer anyway... Be back in Columbus on Saturday.

"I just want to bang bang bang"

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The story of October 20th - Part 1

I'm about 99% sure that there isn't a song that describes this...

So I'm living off campus at OSU in a house. A house that conveniently comes with Washer/Dryer hookups. Morgan decide to go out and get us a washer and dryer so that we don't have to go to the dry cleaners.

Well, the washer is a nice big Heavy Duty refurbished washer. But the dryer... well, it leaves something to be desired. It's brand new, but only $150, so you can assume how small it is. The knobs and stuff are even on the front of the dryer because theres no panel on the top of it. It's just a little cube. Yes, I realize I could take and/or find a picture, but I'd rather make use of your skills of imagery.

So we've had this for about a month, and things are drying progressively worse. At the beginning, just putting 3 pairs of jeans in would take an entire cycle of 'more dry' to get them dry. However, by now, it was down to a cycle and a half or so. Well Alex had stopped by to distract me from studying or something, and we went down to look at it.

After careful consideration, I realize that I've never emptied the lint tray. But wait... the lint tray isn't where it always is on all dryers on the front, because its such a compact little cube. Alex decides to look inside, and we find this compartment in the back that pulls out. After some struggling, we get it... and the behemoth lint out...

Wow, that's a big piece of lint, but a simple picture doesn't do it justice. That's why I have size comparative pictures!

Here is the lint next to an X-Box (which are quite large incase you didn't know):

And vertically next to a 1.5 liter handle of Bacardi Rum... (I'm a college student, I work with what I have):

Here's also it compared to a gatorade bottle, as well as an overhead picture.

However the ridiculousness of the day was only half completed, as you'll find out in part 2.